I don’t like the term falling in love. When we fall, we will most probably injure ourselves. Sure, our bones might not break — but our heart is an entirely different story.
I much rather use the term being in love instead. This term captures the beauty that reveals itself when we feel love.
Problem is, I experienced both falling in love and being in love and they are not the same. So I can’t really use these terms interchangeably.
Whenever I was in love, I was thinking about that special someone a lot. I was wishing to be around them as often as possible, and I got excited merely by the notion of interacting with them in any way possible. Including imaginary interactions that happened solely in my head.
When I fell in love, on top of all the above, there was a feeling of intoxication. It was on the verge of being unpleasant. Wanting to be around that individual has transformed into a need. There was an urgency to it.
I can definitely understand why people equate love to addiction in these scenarios.
Moreover, when I fell in love, I could still see the faults in the characters of that person, it’s just that they seemed completely irrelevant. Faults that would normally make me run to the hills screaming, seemed negligible and insignificant.
Which is why, I presume, the term falling in love was invented in the first place. It conveys the dangers such a predicament entails.
While being in love is exciting yet pleasant and calm, falling in love has the attributes of something intelligent people should probably avoid.
It’s not like I can control it.
People have been writing about being in love and about falling in love since forever and a day. Philosophers, poets, and recently scientists have been exploring the good, the bad, and the ugly of romantic love. And I won’t pretend to know any better.
I looked into brain chemistry, hormones, and pheromones. I read a spiritual theory or two. Probably more. And it seems like there’s no formula to keep one in love as opposed to falling in love. I cannot immune myself to it.
I might, heavens forbid, fall in love again tomorrow.
And if I do, I wish for myself to retain a shred of logic.
I hope I will be able to act with reason through the stupefaction.
But if I did possess the ability to control the way of my heart, I would choose to be in love without the falling.