Thanks so much for sharing your situation with us Jessica. However, I’m not sure if you fully understood my point in this article.
You imply that if you are not orgasming during sex, you are left unsatisfied.
This is, most probably, as you are equating satisfying sex with having an orgasm. Which is our society’s view of sex but not necessarily an ultimate truth. And, as a matter of fact, a few cultures around the world have a very different approach to sex which takes the orgasm out of the way of enjoying having sex.
The approach I promote here is to change our attitudes towards sex altogether. If there is no goal of reaching an orgasm, why would anyone be frustrated? One would just enjoy the interaction for what it is: a deeply connecting intimate play of sensuality and pleasure. Both for women and men.
Orgasms might appear; they might not. But feeling fully and utterly fulfilled by a sexual encounter can be experienced nonetheless.
BTW! I love your mission and admire you for what you do to close the gap in our understanding of female and male genitalia.