Ryder Spearmann, fantasizing about rape is natural and women also fantasize about it. The fantasy, or the fact that people are aroused by the notion, is not the problem (although unfotunatelly, some people thing it’s “wrong”).
The question is how we deal with this fantasy. We could fantasize by ourselves, or act it out with a trusted friend when we discussed our boundaries in advance. These actions are positive and they don’t harm anyone.
Or we could shame opurselves and feel guilty for having the fantasy — in which case, we harm ourselves.
But acting on this urge is going to do severe harm to another human-being, which is why we shouldn’t do it.
And the best way to create civil men — and women — is not by marriage. It’s by being the best people we can and set example to everyone around us, especially our children.