Hey CindyD, thanks so much for your response — I could not agree more. No one should ever “should” you into doing anything in bed that does not feel good. Period.
Did you know that some men also don’t like receiving oral sex? True story.
My point in my original article was to encourage people to open their mind to a concept that they might feel ashamed or disgusted by. So I apologize if it seems that I encourage people to do something that they don’t like.
In your specific case, it is very clear. You tried it (and it looks like you did more than once) and you realized you don’t like it. That’s a very different place than someone who never tried (or maybe tried once) and they won’t even give it a go because they are too afraid or tense or whatever.
But you also made me think. I think there could be 3 reasons for not trying things generally in life.
1 — like in your case, you tried a few times, you came to the conclusion it’s not your thing. Fair enough.
2 — you fear it. In this case, I would recommend looking and facing your fear, then looking at the situation from your new “fearless” space and see if you are interested.
3 — you are genuinely uninterested. In this case, normally I would say why bother. But when it comes to sex and your partner is interested, AND if you are in a loving, respectful, equal relationship where you both like to do things for each other— perhaps it’s a good idea to try just to see if you might like it after all.
Anyway! I really appreciate your comment. I love it when comments challenge my initial article and make me think of a new angle that I didn’t consider in my original piece.