Hermes Solenzol Ph.D., actually BDSM, and any type of kink/fetish to this matter, is more like my definition of sex. It usually requires both participants being much more “on board” than what many people are when they are engaged in conventional sex.

And I see nothing wrong with quickies — if everyone enjoys them — they serve a purpose. But they are not enhancing the connection between the couple. And when they become the norm in a relationship they have a potential to create or at least enhance disharmony.

I assume you are familiar with the reward circuitry of the brain and it might be easy for you to understand that intense stimulation of it can cause a somewhat treadmill effect, and you won’t even know you’re on it.