Actually, Christopher Thomson, the issue here is us believing that bodily arousal is an indicator of overall arousal.
It is not.
Have you heard about Arousal Nonconcordance? Your body can be “turned on” when you are not; your body can stay dormant when you are turned on.
Women’s vaginas can lubricate during rape — does this mean they are aroused?
No. It means their body is doing stuff in spite of them being not aroused.
But I do agree with you that society plays a big role in confusing women around sexuality. It does it to men, too.