A few weeks ago I published a story titled “The Problem with Men Giving Women Dating Advice.”
In it, I shared how I went on a first date with a guy, had what I perceived to be a lovely connection, only to never hear back from him again.
It was the first time for me to go on a first date with anyone after a long break from the dating scene. I arrived with low expectations but found myself having such a beautiful time that I didn’t want it to end.
I thought the guy was as interested as I…
Many people think that sex is supposed to be spontaneous.
This is an idea we are exposed to in all the unrealistic depictions of sex surrounding us. And that may have worked for you during some phases of your relationship.
Thing is, if we leave sex to happen by itself, it can easily become somewhat unsatisfying. Maybe too infrequent, maybe too quick, perhaps a bit repetitive. Whatever the case may be, we are left wondering if that’s all there is to it.
One of the ways to make sure that sex in long term-relationships is deliciously alive is to book…
From a very young age, we’ve all felt emotions.
And we expressed these emotions in a variety of ways:
These are all natural, intuitive ways of expressing emotions.
But there is something wrong with expressing emotions like that.
We learned early on that those around us don’t like it when we react this way.
As s a result, most of us came to the conclusion that it’s better not to express out emotions — better to bury them.
Or, in other words, we better suppress, or repress, our emotions.
When we stop expressing our…
When my daughter started walking, it was obvious to me that she needed to stay barefoot as much as possible.
I could clearly see how the muscles in her feet were developing and that they needed freedom to evolve naturally.
Then I looked into it and found that my intuition had been right. When it was time to find shoes for her, I chose those that mimicked walking barefoot.
Then I started to question — why do we need to transition to a traditional, firm shoe at all?
And what I discovered back then was a bit shocking to me…
If you’ve ever felt pain while having sex, the first thing you need to know is that it’s not uncommon: a 2015 research found that 30% of women reported pain during intercourse.
If you sought help from a physician, you might have been diagnosed with any one of an array of disorders with names such as Dyspareunia, Vaginismus, Vulvodynia, and others. The causes of any of these are still a mystery.
That is, if you think of sex from the prevalent perspective of our society. Which is leaning on millennia of patriarchal traditions.
In our world, almost every time you…
I was already seasoned by harsh breakups. I’d had some tough ones in the past. I wasn’t too concerned about a broken heart, because I had experienced it enough times to know I could find my happiness on the other side.
This breakup shouldn’t be different, right?
Even though I knew it was most probably coming. Even though I knew we can’t easily bridge the gaps between what the two of us wanted in a relationship.
Still, when it came, what surprised me most was not the severity of the pain — it was how long it lingered.
With sex, our goal is usually having some sort of orgasm. And as such, we put in a lot of effort to make sure we achieve it. If it doesn’t happen — we feel unsatisfied and disappointed. Sometimes we even doubt our ability as lovers.
But what if instead of having an orgasmic goal in mind, we decide to focus our attention on something completely different?
First, what is an intention? And what is the difference between a goal and an intention?
Intention is about finding a deep truth within yourself and doing your best to align your actions with…
She had an evil stepmother and wicked stepsisters alright.
And she was kind and humble and oppressed.
But she wasn’t exceptionally pretty or anything.
She was just plain. And wild.
Early on in her life, she realized that she didn’t fit in.
She loved being outdoors, enjoying the beauty of nature.
She could spend hours listening to the voices of the creek and all of its creatures.
It was during these quiet moments in nature that she could sense her body beaming with a subtle flow of energy. Her body was like an ocean with distant waves…
I started my slow-sex journey around 15 years ago.
I was in a long-term relationship that was far from ideal and our sex life was miserable. On the rare occasions we did have sex, it was not enjoyable. Not for me — and I dare say not for my partner either.
At some stage, I started diving into the realm of mindful sex, and something deep inside me changed. Sex stopped being something to be ashamed of.
Instead, sex shifted into a holistic experience.
It was a gradual journey. And although the relationship that propelled me into this journey did…
We’ve been seeing each other for nearly 6 months now.
Not regularly and not all that often, I’m afraid, but enough to have lots of sex.
Which we both enjoy. Tremendously.
And we have both not had an orgasm whilst having sex with each other.
Not even once.
I suppose some people might raise an eyebrow.
Perhaps some will not believe that it’s possible to enjoy and feel completely satisfied sexually without an orgasm. If that’s you, this article might be of interest.
One of the things I promote in my writing and teaching is that —
Not to say…